Honey

Now that I imagine you are no longer sucking on your momma's teat (or sucking on daddy's teat) I would like to discuss the closest thing to mothers milk. Honey.

That’s right honey is the shit. I have the world’s sweetest sweet tooth ever. I refuse to keep it in my house because I will attack that honey pot with a big old wooden spoon or my hairy paw like Winnie the Pooh. It’s has been about 5 years since my last taste of honey……because it’s that addicting.

Now after doing a search for “Honey” in Google this is what I found:








Bees are obvious as well as honey combs and jars filled with sweet sweet liquid gold. Now Jessica Alba also made a movie called “Honey” her skin and hair are like honey and I am sure she tastes just as sweet. After all she is quite a hot sexy lady who does give me penis envy. I will have to create a blog just dedicated to her.

Now lets turn our attention to the honey comb and jar…….its golden and runny, please don’t tell me that this looks appetizing like a doctor’s jar of piss because if your piss is this fucking dark you are dehydrated.

Now you may ask, “Oh Gravity how can I truly enjoy the wonderful tastes of honey to its maximum god giving potential?”

I will quite simply respond, “With your hairy palm, numb-nuts” and hopefully it’s AFTER you washed your hands from masturbating so much (hence the hairy palms)

But most people are pansies and can’t stand the sticky sensation of it on their ball scratcher hands (due to some psychological bullshit from child hood from fingering daddy’s sticky (not stinky) anus.

So here are the other ways to enjoy it:

Put honey on the freshest bread you can find with a thin layer of butter.

Put fresh bread in toaster…. top with butter and honey (this may sound like the exact same suggestion as above; but both taste VERY different) the warm toast will melt the butter and make the honey nice and runny.

It’s awesome in yogurt

Its great on ice-cream…..the honey thickens and gets kind of chewy

Honey does in fact have a flavour not just sweetness, which is why I won’t include recipes for honey, because I want everyone to enjoy the simplicity of honey tasting without clouding it up with evil baking/cooking tactics.

Now quit reading my shitty thoughts and go buy a big ol’ jar of honey. Numb-nuts.