Titty Hug's For Everyone

Well finally, Christmas has come and finally left, leaving me in a pool of my own blood, sweat and debt.
I cooked a delicious large meal that had enough saturated fat to take down a herd of elephants. The victims of my meal were my immediate family, and my brothers girlfriend. It was originally intended for the girlfriend not to attend, because my brother and her behave like a celebrity teenage couple that seem to break up over the most miniscule thing.
I finally caved and allowed the girlfriend (who we will call g/f to save my fingers from an early death) to come to the dinner. Why? who cares, we changed the dates, and she bought some rather over-the-top gifts for my daughter. Believe it or not, they actually outshined my damned lollipops and Dora products.

Anyways, enough with the chitter chatter. The g/f is a big topped woman. Actually she has enough boobage to suffocate my 130 pound brother. Which I am sure he wouldn't mind (but that's another blog unto itself) This womans boobs are so big, it probably makes up 1/4 of her weight. They are sooooo big, that when she eats at the table she props those huge fuckers onto the table. (you know, because of back pain)


Moving on now, when dinner was over, and unwrapping the presents (no not her tits) had finally finished, we said our goodbyes. And what happens?! Who decides it to be a great idea to invade my personal space which I have on high security at all times? Before I knew it, I was encapsulated with a squishy, warm, pillowy mass of booby. My little boobs, had sunken into my ribcage and beyond, I now had extra cushion protecting my spine.
The g/f's mammaries seemed to swim it's way across my entire chest, choking out any dinner I had managed to store inside my trachea for later enjoyment. I was taken back about 25 years when my dearest mother was still nursing my frail little body. I zipped back to my current timeline, and got a quick thought about my brother's sex life, oh dear god. The fucking horror.

Thanks to this "innocent" hug, I was transported from feeling inadequate, to sucking on my momma's boobs, to thinking about my brother and lovemaking escapades. I am forever scarred, and my personal space remains in the red zone for any subsequent attacks.

I won't be serving Christmas dinner next year.