Centipede vs Mouse

Let's Go To The Fair?

I took a trip to the "Rogers Centre" and I say that very sarcastically, apparently I'm not up to date with the selling of the SkyDome which happened over a year ago.

They seemed to have raped a decent stadium and plopped a fair in the centre of everything for March Break. So I "stuck it to the man" and got some really cheap tickets via work and went down to China town, I mean fair ground.

Lots of rides, and games. A lack of fair food like fries, fresh cotton candy and doughnuts... but my lard gut doesn't need it... oh sorry, the six month fetus... but that's besides the point.

Since my poor daughter lacks the ability (haha agility) to throw a ball, I played it safe and bet only on "'every game wins".... because hey, it feels good, kinda like that blue ribbon you get as a kid when you come in last at the race but you get a little something for participating, 'thanks for your efforts, your a bit of a tard, but here's a prize so you don't go postal and shoot up the judges' - kind of dealie.
Yup I collected a lot of blue ribbons as a kid, but it wasn't my fault. Honest. My birthday seems to fall into a catagory of where I'm too old (about a month to my guesstimates) to participate with my classmates and as a result got bumped up to the big kids.

Back to the story, I'd like to point out any cliche's that dance in your head like sugar plum fairies about carnies, is completely fucking true. Socially inept, crippled, pedophiles with missing teeth. This of course is not bias to age. They had students who worked there who looked exactly the same.

Toronto also harbours the ugliest highschool guys ever. Quite often I got confused between the students and the carnies. I think if I had these choices back when I was that age, I would be gay today.

I had the carnies woo me with their chants "Hey Ma, come bring your kids over here" no, I kid you not. I guess I was dressed to the equivelent of Wal-mart groupie, food stamp bearing, drunken pregnant ham-beast. "Yes please take my money while you sling insults at me.....while your at it just punch me in the eye, because my trailer trash image isn't nearly complete!!!"

All in all I spent some money, got some blow up dolls for later enjoyment, took some pictures and created a happy childhood for my daughter.

Oh.... and coat check misplaced my jacket.

Hat is Racist

A couple weeks ago I enjoyed a half day at work, as a result a got to sit down for about 45 minutes to indulge on a show that only stay-at-home mom's normally watch. They share gardening tips, cooking recipe's, decorating strategies, and how to dress like a nazi.

Personally I think it's a tad early for gardening tips, because the ground is still hard here in Toronto, I could wear a nice warm hat but I wouldn't normally be brave enough to wear the Olympics Torino Hat.

So we can keep down any confusion and angry letters..... that would be the black hat labeled TORINO.

I wonder if this proud piece of olympic fashion would be available in white?