Picture

Here is a wonderful picture of our family drawn by my daughter. I am on the left. notice my large pregnant belly and lop-sided mammaries. I am certainly, one good catch. Eat your heart out boys.

Pineapple

I'm afraid that the America's haven't been informed of a delicious fruit that is available right around this time.

It's called pineapple. It's absolutely wonderful, and I'm not talking about the canned crap you get in the middle isles of the grocery store stuck in a dark corner like a leper.

Pineapple, as with all fruit tastes better FRESH. Granted, pineapple is big, and sharp, and pretty damned scary to look at. Prepping it is also quite daunting, but have no fear, because I am here to teach you the ropes. Well, not me, I'm just gonna be a lazy fucktard and link a bunch of crap.

So first things first, pineapple is delicious, it's not like the name, so have no worries about it tasting like a pine tree. It's sweet, and juicy, and the flavour explodes in your mouth like a horny teenager overdosing on Viagra.

The online encyclopedia known as Wikipedia has informed me that eating pineapple can induce labour. As I assume my readers are smarter than the average bear, I'm gonna say this is utter bologna, as I am indeed living proof. I can confirm however, eating too much will have you baking fresh loaves over the toilet in no time at all.

So if you haven't gone to your local grocer and paid a small man's ransom, go now! Do not delay! Buy a frickken pineapple.

Accounting

I added the text, because I am shameless. But if your feeling sad, you can check out some pictures to brighten your spirits. Or just spam your friends email with the pictures.


I'm Really Sad

P.S. I'm not actually feeling sad.

Travelmate

"TravelMate™ non-invasive urinary devices enable females to pee through the fly of their clothes while standing ........ answer the call of nature while seated in a car, boat, or small aircraft. "

This truly is amazing, now I can write my name in the snow.

Linky