Shave

Shaving…….I see it as a big deal. Not because I am a women, but because hair can hide your flawless skin that lays beneath it.
I recently shaved my arms and I was quite impressed. My arms looks so much cleaner and less like a “damn dirty ape”
My husband has to shave because if he doesn’t, I break out in red little bumps and I end up looking like I got attacked by a frog infested with herpes.

I like it when men shave their pits because I don’t like stinky stuff. Armpits are stinky and when you got hair down there it literally turns into a fucking 98 degree wash basin with pubes. Now imagine a man sitting all day sweating his “nads” off for eight stinky hours. Are you gonna do any of this??


My personal favourite brand is this


The invention of underwear has come to light so shave those damn hairs off. FYI: flossing has also become a hygenic ritual, (and is now available sterilized) so it is also another reason to shave those little curlies.
Another very well known reason to shave; it makes men look bigger….not your wisdom….. but your PENIS! That’s right your one-eyed lizard will appear to grow about an inch in length when you shave that jungle.

My husband has a pair of boxers that’s says on the label “change daily” WTF is that? I know warning labels have very redundant things on them but seriously is Fruit of the Loom afraid of a fucking lawsuit based on some un-hygenic sloth that dies from some mysterious spongiform growing on him? If that’s the case then he deserves to be suffering from this penis-eating bacteria.

I just hope for the sake of mankind that these fine specimens do change their skivvies daily.


Another pro to shaving would be less visible ass lint. That’s right, there’s toe jam, belly button lint, and then the dreaded ass lint. Ass lint is the worst because you can’t fucking see it to pick it out. So I guess your thinking “Gravity WTF is your problem….you want me to shave my whole body, now its gonna grow back thicker and now I will never get to taste the sweet nectar of Gravity’s Dropping’s”
And I will respond, “Listen Numb-nuts provide proof of this because all that happens when you shave hair is create a blunt end which causes the hair to appear thicker you bloody wang.”

I closing, I say break out the weed whacker and cut those curlies. Try it once and you will be pleased by the results I am sure….because a hairy person is very prehistoric…errr I mean 80’s.