Smell

Smell…
Most of us have it but for some reason guys lack ability to take notice. Since 8 hours of my day is spent at work I will probably end up talking about the people here. Women seem to be sensitive to smell, so generally, they smell good….sometimes I wanna say, “hey you smell good what are you wearing?” but that seems like a gay question, so I never ask.
I have mentioned the fact that someone smells like “clean laundry” which is a good thing, but I wouldn’t want to smell like that myself.

This is one of my current favourites:



The men are a different story here. What the fuck is wrong with them? One smells like mothballs. The other smells like garlic all the damn time. And another shit-brick smells like aqua-velva and a smoldering cigarette.
Who still uses mothballs any ways?? Use cedar chips you anus. They are environmentally friendlier.




Some women wear cheap perfume from large chain stores like Wal-Mart. Those knock-offs that don’t smell like the real thing……I have smelled them. They smell like a fucking sweaty penis that was out drinking all night and bum rushed a skunk’s ass that has an infection causing it to puss out green-yellow slime. But then who would wear a perfume called T’aint Sweat” or “Skunk’s Ass Puss” or my personal favourite “Uncircumcised Head Cheese”


The other day I was at the gym (I know it’s a gym people are supposed to smell) and this guy stunk so bad it made the water in the water fountain taste bad. This guy smelled so bad my lungs were beginning to blister. This guy smelled so bad I could swear his armpit hair was molesting the inside of my nostrils causing it to bleed.

Thank god for the invention of anti-perspirant but the poor schmuck at the gym was fresh off the space ship from Pluto and never heard of such an item. Who would have thought some guy just lands on earth and the first thing he’s gotta do is go to the gym. If you’re that vain you can’t possibly be that ignorant to your own vile stench.

And now I hear the cries “Gravity, Gravity where can I find an anti-perspirant that will meet your expectations?”
And I will simply respond with a picture:




But as you may know by now I can’t keep my trap shut and must make useless comments. So Mitchum’s claims you can skip a day…..to which I have tested and it does indeed live up to its claims. It does however cause some staining if you don’t allow the liquid to dry before getting dressed.