This New House

We got our sod laid last Thursday. Now when you get sod laid, you must water as soon a bloody possible, or it will die. Permanently. Not the kind of hibernation death and resurrect once spring arises. But it dies forever. It rained on Thursday night, so we considered ourselves safe to hold off on buying a hose and sprinkler.
Long story short, we got an old hose and sprinkler from my father. So we saved some much needed cash. Saturday night we watered the lawn with the neighbors. I am a non-talker so my husband did most (actually all) of the socializing. Here is an excerpt in his words:

"So our neighbours come up to me and say, 'can I ask you a question?'..."
"Which neighbours the one's connected to us or the other ones" (FYI we live in a semi-detached home.)
"The other ones...." The hubby continues, "the neighbour asked me how long he should water the lawn for."
"Okay...." Just so you know newbie home owners are funny as hell, so I had a feeling this was going to be gold.
"I told him about an hour or two.."
"Okay..."
"And the guy acted surprised... I asked him how long have you been watering for...He said 10 minutes with a hand held hose."
"Uh-huh......" I said
"I told him it wasn't long enough, he responded with, well it rained a couple days ago."
"How many shades of brown does it take for someone to realize he has to water the grass?"
"And then..... The best part..... He asked me if he should LIFT THE SOD and water UNDERNEATH"
"Get the fuck out of here!!!!!!!!"
"And I was like..... No man, don't do that."
"Hahahaha what a moron"

Besides the fact that this was probably the highlight of my weekend, (it very well could have been the ruckus at the furniture store where some psychotic woman was cursing many four letter words at the other side, but we ended up being bombarded by a sales woman, so I missed the whole thing.) I think it would be great to talk grass. I also saw "This Old House" which was convenient at airing some stuff on caring for your lawn. (gooooo Bob Vila)

So lets talk grass.
-water the lawn 1-2 inches per week. Separating the amount into 2-3 sessions.
-water in the early morning. Afternoon is a waste of water, and evening will cause disease.

-when cutting grass only cut 1/3 at a time if you cut to much it will burn your grass and stunt the growth.

-if you don't want to rake after words use a mulching blade.


-keep mower blades sharp, dull blades break the grass leaving it open for infection.

-Sheep shit is great and doesn't smell (bad)


-Fertilize depending on your grass type (ie: cool season and warm season lawns)
Cool season lawns-most fertilizer is put on in fall
Warm season lawns-early spring to late summer.

And remember you are judged not by the friends you keep but by the lawn you reep.
That's my saying, and you can use it.
And if you refuse to care for your lawn for goodness sake just pave over it. No one wants to see a brown patch of wheat in August.