Candied Ginger
Now that the burning is gone I can finally speak freely about my shame. Saturday I bought some candied ginger along with a new bathing suit and some wonderful body butter at the Body Shop. Well, Sunday rolled around and I was watching Animation Domination on Fox. When I got peckish for some of that delectable candied ginger.
In case you don’t know what candied ginger looks like I posted a picture for you:
Granted this stuff looks as appetizing as this stuff:
But rest assured it doesn’t taste like actual shit. I will assume after feeding it to my husband and daughter it probably is an acquired taste. How does it taste you ask? Well its like spicy ginger, only sweet. Duh.
So I got a little carried away eating this stuff, which is quite a bit spicy after you’ve eaten enough to embalm a large cat. When Monday morning rolled around that’s when the regret kicked in. This ginger is just as spicy going in as it is going out.
Alas, to my misfortune someone was using the bathroom. I sat and prairie-dogged for about 10 excruciating fucking minutes.
I am sure you know the feeling. You are sweating and clenching your ass cheeks together so tight that the blackhole could not suck air out of that puckered-up anus.
I can hear you say “Gravity what in the hell is prairie-dogging?” let me paint a beautiful picture for you in 4 simple steps:
These four “simple” steps will repeat as long as you finally have the ability to relieve yourself. For me it was 10 minutes.
In the early morning when I am in a hurry and when I eat my fiberous veggies I can squeeze out my nubs in about 2 minutes. But not today; today was a different matter. I ate too much cow flop which was brewed from the depths of fiery hell and dipped in crystallized ex-lax. Little brown bears were jumping thru a “hoop” of fire. This makes me thankful for not having hemorrhoids because these were some spicy fucking meatballs rolling out.
Once I was done, I was ten pounds thinner and had a monster in the porcelain bowl that was the size of a large baby. In retrospect I should have taken a picture with my camera and posted it for all of you to see. But I did not. But I am sure you know what a big giant turd looks like. If you are interested in experiencing the same thing, I have posted a Recipe here or if you can’t boil water (this recipe is insanely easy) go buy some, I got mine at the Bulk Barn.
In case you don’t know what candied ginger looks like I posted a picture for you:
Granted this stuff looks as appetizing as this stuff:
But rest assured it doesn’t taste like actual shit. I will assume after feeding it to my husband and daughter it probably is an acquired taste. How does it taste you ask? Well its like spicy ginger, only sweet. Duh.
So I got a little carried away eating this stuff, which is quite a bit spicy after you’ve eaten enough to embalm a large cat. When Monday morning rolled around that’s when the regret kicked in. This ginger is just as spicy going in as it is going out.
Alas, to my misfortune someone was using the bathroom. I sat and prairie-dogged for about 10 excruciating fucking minutes.
I am sure you know the feeling. You are sweating and clenching your ass cheeks together so tight that the blackhole could not suck air out of that puckered-up anus.
I can hear you say “Gravity what in the hell is prairie-dogging?” let me paint a beautiful picture for you in 4 simple steps:
These four “simple” steps will repeat as long as you finally have the ability to relieve yourself. For me it was 10 minutes.
In the early morning when I am in a hurry and when I eat my fiberous veggies I can squeeze out my nubs in about 2 minutes. But not today; today was a different matter. I ate too much cow flop which was brewed from the depths of fiery hell and dipped in crystallized ex-lax. Little brown bears were jumping thru a “hoop” of fire. This makes me thankful for not having hemorrhoids because these were some spicy fucking meatballs rolling out.
Once I was done, I was ten pounds thinner and had a monster in the porcelain bowl that was the size of a large baby. In retrospect I should have taken a picture with my camera and posted it for all of you to see. But I did not. But I am sure you know what a big giant turd looks like. If you are interested in experiencing the same thing, I have posted a Recipe here or if you can’t boil water (this recipe is insanely easy) go buy some, I got mine at the Bulk Barn.
this article was regurgitated by -------- Gravity Drop at 9:04 AM
2 Comments:
What I want to know is...How does the bathing suit and body butter fit into this picture?
I should give that recipe to the hypochondriac pyscho girl I work with.
The bathing suit and body butter build atmosphere, to create substance and back story... I have no freaking clue hahaha I just went shopping on the weekend and was appalled at how expensive a bathing suit is.
Forget the ginger for the hypochondriac, feed her some valium and get her to see an exorcist for the head spinning
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