Rage Against The Fax Machine

So there I am. Like I always am at 4 pm everyday Monday to Friday. Sending my 50 gazillion faxes through the fax machine.
Every now and then I get someone coming up to me asking if they can sneak in and flip a fax through. Sure, no problem, it's only one fax, I don't mind, whatever.
Something strange happened a couple of days ago. I don't know if it was miscommunication, an internal battle of the infamous catfight with someone I barely know, or some kind of out of body experience with a snotty skippy school-girl who hasn't learned the ropes yet.

When I get an interruption it usually involves a question, "are you going to be long?" or "can I just send this one fax?" Fairly easy, quite simple, straight forward.

Picture it, Monday, I begin my routine, A thick pile of faxes, I am on a roll, making a great pace. I feel a presence. It stands behind me, then moves. I look around my shoulder, I see nothing, the presence had somehow disappeared in the jungle of desks, but I could feel the eyes. The eyes were burning into my head and into my brain, my ears were ringing from some sort of telekinesis. I continue my faxes. I hear a rustle of papers, but it wasn't me. It was next to me. I look again to see someone standing very closely to me. The presence had re-appeared from some sort of ninja move I had never grasped after 2 years of being here. Maybe she didn't leave at all, maybe she was standing there the whole time, in her bubble of silence, like some sort of black hole where sound could not escape it's grasp.

I flip another fax through, ignoring her. She still stands there, silent, shuffling papers that need to be noticed. By who? By me of course. She had a folder, a red folder, she quickly snapped it shut when I looked at her again. I zipped another fax through. I looked at the folder, so red, so menacing, so evil.

"FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK," I thought. She was watching me as my fingers danced across the fax machine dialing buttons so delicately. I realized she was waiting for the fax machine. She hadn't said a thing, she just stood there, like I was inconveniencing her. The folder was draped across her chest along with her arms.



"So........... Did you need to use the fax machine?"
"Yeah." she said cooley
"I am going to be here a while...... You got a lot?"
"No, not really." She said, and whipped out the evil red folder that came from the depths of hell, it was encased with graffiti. Some sort of writing I couldn't distinguish from gang writing or Aramaic.
"I am leaving at 4:30," she added.

"Well........," I wasn't sure at this point if I should let her use it, or make her wait. The devil and his secretary could wait another 3 minutes for his faxes, I was sure. Hmmmmm I wonder if faxing to hell was a long distance call??
"Shit stay focused Gravity, your leaving at 5 pm, let her send the faxes. If you don't she's gonna watch you, and make your nervous. Damn this jungle, and damn this ninja lady"
"Go ahead," I said
"Thanks."
I sat at my desk, and waited.
I waited some more.
I peeked over my computer screen. My two wide blue eyes peering at the ninja fax lady. I saw her in front of me.....Head bobbing, papers whisking around her, I saw a flash of the evil red folder, so red and pure and velvety like blood.
"Why is she taking longer than me??" I thought. "Did I just get taken advantage of?? Was I just lied to??"
I returned to my computer, and waited some more.

Ion's later, she walked up to my desk with the folder, The evil red folder that hides all work encased in it. Disguising everything enveloped in it as a fluffy bunny that is visually stream lined creating the illusion of "quick fax material"
"I am finished." she said
"Thank You," I answered.
I continued with my faxes, I only had 5 left, and took me less than 60 seconds to throw into the fax machine. This was a very strange 10 minutes of working life.