Bread
Bread. It’s about bread today. My peeve about it is this, 60% whole wheat bread. Why was this invented? Who decided that the round wholesome number of 60% wheat would make a great bread? Why not 40% or 80%? Why is not available in all percentages at 10% increments? I found a nice 75% wheat bread after doing a Google search at a family bakery.
You wouldn’t go out and pay for a prostitute and ask only for a 30% blowjob (maybe 30% discount but this doesn’t apply) My MIL buys 60% (when she buys) but normally I purchase the bread; and its 100% all the way. I don’t buy plastic bread a.k.a. white bread because it isn’t natural.
Even though I don’t eat bread (I stick to oatmeal and sweet potatoes) this subject still bothers me. I am NOT part of the Atkin’s Revolution but I think that bread maker’s are very misleading. Why can’t it be simple to just buy brown bread or white bread? I have to make sure the label says some shit about whole-wheat flour and not just wheat flour. Why do you colour with molasses to make fake brown bread? Is there some shortage of whole-wheat crop? Is it being horded by the government for some crazy conspiracy such as to feed the starving aliens? Is it to make Metamucil (a gentle fiber laxative) for all those constipated retards eating white bread??
Its like trying to buy a regular cup of java….it just doesn’t fucking exist anymore.
And now with the extremists (I am borderline) whole-wheat bread isn’t good anymore, it’s a bloody processed food, with all the additives to make the loaf last 7 days. Health nuts say it’s best to eat a bread called Ezekiel; which is a flourless bread and its made with sprouted grains which makes it healthier. I personally never tried the stuff because I have been able to survive for 25 years without it but I am sure it tastes like delicious cardboard.
Not only when shopping for bread do you have to be aware of the label but, you have to covet this brown loaf like it’s your infant. Because if you get this bread at a time when the students are working (or a man) they/he will invariably shove that infant loaf in with a bottle of fucking juice. So when you get home you will be making sandwiches out of bread that has been squished so bad it will look like someone’s twisted bowel.
You wouldn’t go out and pay for a prostitute and ask only for a 30% blowjob (maybe 30% discount but this doesn’t apply) My MIL buys 60% (when she buys) but normally I purchase the bread; and its 100% all the way. I don’t buy plastic bread a.k.a. white bread because it isn’t natural.
Even though I don’t eat bread (I stick to oatmeal and sweet potatoes) this subject still bothers me. I am NOT part of the Atkin’s Revolution but I think that bread maker’s are very misleading. Why can’t it be simple to just buy brown bread or white bread? I have to make sure the label says some shit about whole-wheat flour and not just wheat flour. Why do you colour with molasses to make fake brown bread? Is there some shortage of whole-wheat crop? Is it being horded by the government for some crazy conspiracy such as to feed the starving aliens? Is it to make Metamucil (a gentle fiber laxative) for all those constipated retards eating white bread??
Its like trying to buy a regular cup of java….it just doesn’t fucking exist anymore.
And now with the extremists (I am borderline) whole-wheat bread isn’t good anymore, it’s a bloody processed food, with all the additives to make the loaf last 7 days. Health nuts say it’s best to eat a bread called Ezekiel; which is a flourless bread and its made with sprouted grains which makes it healthier. I personally never tried the stuff because I have been able to survive for 25 years without it but I am sure it tastes like delicious cardboard.
Not only when shopping for bread do you have to be aware of the label but, you have to covet this brown loaf like it’s your infant. Because if you get this bread at a time when the students are working (or a man) they/he will invariably shove that infant loaf in with a bottle of fucking juice. So when you get home you will be making sandwiches out of bread that has been squished so bad it will look like someone’s twisted bowel.
this article was regurgitated by -------- Gravity Drop at 10:04 AM
3 Comments:
About 5 years ago, living with my husband I would by a loaf and stick it in the freezer and pull out slices one by one and stick it in the toaster.
Yeah the good old days when a loaf of bread lasted 2 weeks. Anyways, we go through 3 loaves a week now....man I can't wait to get into my house.
i only eat wheat. it's so yummy!
give me a nice french stick with lots of butter.
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