The Peeves
I might as well jump on the band wagon and create a list of my peeves that bug the crap out of me. Some are basic and all will agree with me, others are unique and will give you a better picture of me, the bitchy cynical blogger.
Food:
· Crumbs in the butter, I normally don’t use butter at all. But when I do bake I use butter and when I get a scoop there’s fucking crumbs of toast in there. It’s so nasty, sometimes there is jam in there too, WTF. Have some consideration, not everyone wants what you ate the previous day, besides it can be an issue about a food borne illness.
· Moldy/expired food at the store, I have seen this countless times. I will bring it to the counter and the store will offer it to me for free. I don’t want it for free. Just stop selling it so I won’t get sick.
· Someone who can’t cut cheese. No not farts, but an actual chunk of cheese. Use a sharp knife, not a butter knife or a spoon, because when you cut that cheese it breaks off into little crumbs that you can’t wipe up because they smudge into the counter. Use a fucking knife!!!
Driving/Phone:
· Don’t merge into the freeway doing 60 mph.
· Don’t tailgate me, ‘cos I am the biatch who will slam on the brakes
· Telemarketer rebuttals. If my rolling eyes made a sound, it would sound like this: “FUCK OFF”
· 10 minute voicemails. If its gonna be a message longer than one minute just have the person call you back by leaving your name and number. (longest message ever left to me: 14 minutes)
Miscellaneous:
· Door clicking. I can’t stand it. Why can’t people just turn the knob when the door shuts is beyond me. Don’t just swing the door shut so it makes that annoying click noise, and then that slam noise when the door meets the framework.
· When I am mad don’t state the obvious, unless you got some fucking REAL advice.
Example:
Me: “My radio is a piece of shit”
Them: “You should have gotten a good one”
Me: “Where did you go to school, Sherlock??”
· The inability to cut and paste pictures on Blogger…..this wastes about 30 minutes of me posting, publishing, editing into HTML so I can add my commentary to make one large post.
There is probably more but I just can't think of any.
Food:
· Crumbs in the butter, I normally don’t use butter at all. But when I do bake I use butter and when I get a scoop there’s fucking crumbs of toast in there. It’s so nasty, sometimes there is jam in there too, WTF. Have some consideration, not everyone wants what you ate the previous day, besides it can be an issue about a food borne illness.
· Moldy/expired food at the store, I have seen this countless times. I will bring it to the counter and the store will offer it to me for free. I don’t want it for free. Just stop selling it so I won’t get sick.
· Someone who can’t cut cheese. No not farts, but an actual chunk of cheese. Use a sharp knife, not a butter knife or a spoon, because when you cut that cheese it breaks off into little crumbs that you can’t wipe up because they smudge into the counter. Use a fucking knife!!!
Driving/Phone:
· Don’t merge into the freeway doing 60 mph.
· Don’t tailgate me, ‘cos I am the biatch who will slam on the brakes
· Telemarketer rebuttals. If my rolling eyes made a sound, it would sound like this: “FUCK OFF”
· 10 minute voicemails. If its gonna be a message longer than one minute just have the person call you back by leaving your name and number. (longest message ever left to me: 14 minutes)
Miscellaneous:
· Door clicking. I can’t stand it. Why can’t people just turn the knob when the door shuts is beyond me. Don’t just swing the door shut so it makes that annoying click noise, and then that slam noise when the door meets the framework.
· When I am mad don’t state the obvious, unless you got some fucking REAL advice.
Example:
Me: “My radio is a piece of shit”
Them: “You should have gotten a good one”
Me: “Where did you go to school, Sherlock??”
· The inability to cut and paste pictures on Blogger…..this wastes about 30 minutes of me posting, publishing, editing into HTML so I can add my commentary to make one large post.
There is probably more but I just can't think of any.
this article was regurgitated by -------- Gravity Drop at 12:22 PM
7 Comments:
Oh man pubes on the bar of soap is classic....haahahah
I hate everything.
People and everything just suck...unless you can blog about it. Then its a free for all, good times.
I hate the gooey mess on the bathroom counter when someone leaves a wet bar of soap on there.
I hate driving through Toronto. People really fucking tailgate and never let you in. If I could have "Fuckoff" brite lights at the back of my car...
Wait a minute...there's my idea that needs a patent....
The gooey mess from soap is another reason why I don't use bars.
And I have been forbidden from driving in Toronto because I can't find my out with all the one way streets and back alleys.
I hate pen clickers.
I hate people with b.o.
I hate traffic.
I want those fuck off break lights.
Perhaps a headlight as well that would show in the driver who just cut you offs' rearview mirror?
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